Brave Face, a memoir by Shaun David Hutchinson, is not light-hearted reading.  Hutchison explores his self-worth, sexuality, depression, and anxiety through a tumultuous time in his life. All of it – good, bad, and ugly. His journey is told honestly as he swirls through thoughts of self.

Shaun struggled to fit in even in parochial elementary schools with many trips to the principal’s office. High school finds him in all new surroundings in a much larger public school with none of his old friends around.  His love of fantasy stories allows him to land a part in a school play and he feels at home with the students in the drama department. He learns he can “play a part” even in real life because of his sexuality. This leads to little things setting him off with feelings of anger and rage, such as his mom asking him to do a simple chore. In Shaun’s words, “By society’s definition, any gay man was going to live a lonely life of constant lies, die of aids, become the victim of someone who didn’t even see him as a human being, or worse. There was no future to being gay.  Therefore, I couldn’t be gay. I had a future. I’d spent a lifetime building the vision of who I wanted to be, and that person was not a fag.” Some friends will walk away as he decides to come out after high school. But he is a smart man and continues to do well academically.

Throughout the book, Shaun shares his thought process and contorted inner self-talk and the role depression has played in his life. Which Shaun was he? Why was he smoking? The cutting and burning to hide his intellectual self-loathing. The drugs. The break-ups. The suicide attempt. The commitment for treatment. The recovery. The straight-A student. The brilliant writer.

His story is written to show there is light at the end of the tunnel. It could be an eye-opener that will help one in their understanding of self or others.  Ultimately, it is a look into the mind that is a beautiful, exciting, and scary thing.